बुधवार, 20 अगस्त 2008

The show must go on!

Death is serious business। But in a society as self-obsessed as ours it often becomes a Woody Allen comedy. So last week, while the rest of the country was busy celebrating Independence Day, I was at a funeral.
As I walked into an apartment of wailing women and mourning men, it only took minutes for the entire façade to peel away and reveal the true emotions of those sitting around a dead man with cotton stuffed into his nostrils…
It all begins when a series of phone calls spoils the sleep of over two dozen relatives who are informed about the tragedy। “If only this had happened two days later,” thinks the dead man’s cousin. “I’ve guests at home today!” Elsewhere, the dead man’s estranged sister turns to her husband with a single drop of tear in her right eye. “Do I really have to come?” the husband asks. “Can’t I just show my face at the condolence meeting?” An hour later she is in designer mourning clothes but aghast to see her husband in a multi-coloured shirt. She snaps, “How many times have I told you to buy a white shirt for such occasions?”
As everyone sits around the dead body on display in the living room, there is an air of impatience as the mourners check their watch, fiddle with their phones and ask in hushed whispers: “Who are we waiting for?” Men are sitting in one corner and women in another, with the dead body sandwiched between the two genders। There are husbands trying to make eye contact with their wives on the other side in an effort to ask with a raised eyebrow: “What’s the delay?”
Soon news trickles that the hospital has goofed up with the paper work and the crematorium is refusing to proceed with the funeral unless someone tracks down the errant doctor and do the needful correction। “It’s going to take another hour,” text messages one of the wives to her husband who’s got two tickets for the noon show.
More text messages fly between the men and the women on either side of the dead body: “What do you want for dinner tonight?” another bored housewife texts her husband.

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